A new Kenshin
by Sambina
Summary: Kenshin and Kaoru are the best of friends until one day Kenshin changes and stops talking to her. How will Kaoru react when he stops talking to her and she no longer has kenshin to run to?
1. A Midnight conversation

A/n: Hey everyone thanx for taking the time to read my story. I just want to say this my first story andI really need to hear what you think so I can build upon in.

A new note, I changed the first chapter cu it has a lot of hits but it is so retarded that no one reads past it.

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin doesn't belong to me. So don't get me in trouble

The moon was up and the night was silent untill a ring came on the pone waking Kaoru. "who would call right now?" Kaoru thought as blindly felt for the phone. Every ring pierced the silence making her hurry so she wouldn't wake anyone. "Got it." she picked up the phone. "Himura, Kenshin good thing I have caller ID. Hello?"

A voice came hesitantly from the other side. "Good thing you picked up Kaoru-dono"

"Jeez Kenshin do you realize its like 12:49 right now and how many times do I have to tell you not to call me that. Don't you think we've known each other long enough for you stop calling me that?" it was too late for her to yell and being mad at him was hurting her head. "I need to sleep, I'm pretty tired."

"I know but to do that is so informal and, anyways you're the one who said call me back no matter what." Kenshin was regretting his late night call.

Kaoru remembered that detail and tried to wake her self up as she said, "Oh yeah that's right, heh-heh, Sorry Kenshin. I just thought you would wait till tomorrow." Kaoru was fighting the urge to fall asleep.

The long pause signaled Kenshin to talk, "So what do you want to talk about?"

"Anything Kenshin. Oh wait did you hear about Misao and Aoshi?"

"No, why what happened?"

"Kaoru yawned sleepily then continued, "Misao and Aoshi have finally got together."

"Really? Aoshi? Who knew that the girl it would take to "unlock" the door to Aoshi's heart would me Misao."

"I know it is kinda funny when you think about it but they do make a cute couple"

Kenshin sat and smiled at the sound of her sleepy voice, "So Misao and Aoshi," He said more relaxed, "guess opposites do attract."

Kaoru liked the sound of his voice too, "Hee-hee I hope it works out for them, I mean god knows how long Misao has loved him. It's nice to know that Aoshi has finally made his feelings known to her too." Kaoru glanced out her window and saw a shooting star. She secretly made a wish that the same wou8l happen for her and Kenshin.

"Good for them."

"And guess what Yahiko and Tsubame's romance also seems to be blossoming. It's really cute and the upside is that he is always at her house so that gets him out of my hair for a while. All he has to do now is get over the fact that she keeps calling him little Yahiko."

"It would seem that the Kenshin-gumi is pairing up." Not all of us Kaoru thought to herself, they had yet to admit feelings to each other. Kaoru realized Kenshin was still talking, "Wait a minute didn't you have something you wanted to tell me?"

What he said to her rudely interrupted her thoughts with fear. "What are you talking about Kenshin?"

"This morning you said you had something to tell me. Something about a girl that likes me."

Kaoru regretted ever saying that but was still surprised that he hadn't figured it out yet. "Oh yeah that. You know what Kenshin maybe I'll tell you later or something because she told me not to tell."

"Oh come on Kaoru-dono don't leave me hanging like this."

"Oh my god again with the dono stuff. Look, I'm sorry Kenshin, but I can't tell you."

"Well can you tell me what she likes about me."

"She thinks you're the kindest person to ever walk the face of the earth. She also likes how you think the inside is more important than the out."

"How nice of her to think so. Now I really wish that I knew who she was."

_(Darn why does he make me really want to tell him) _"Ummm you actually know her. You see her at school every day."

Kenshin was surprised by what she said, "Really?"

"Darn it, I hate the way you sucker me in to telling you without even trying. You know what I'm just going to tell you."

"No Kaoru-dono you really don't have to."

"No I'm going to tell you Kenshin I can't wait forever. The girl that thinks your really special is me."

A/N: Sorry its really short but i promise to make my chapters longer in the future. Please read and review because its my first fanfic and I'm really nervous and can't wait to see what you think.

A new note: so what do you think is the new one better?


	2. Getting Closer

A/N: Thanx for reading again! I promised to make my next chapter long so I hope you like it. I tried pretty hard so review and tell me what you think. Oh yeah thanks for the reviews you guys, they were really helpful.

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin and I'm not writing for profit just for fun.

"The girl that thinks you are special its…its...i-its me."

"Oro?"

"Its me Kenshin, me, I'm the one that thinks your special Kenshin."

"Oh Kaoru, I didn't know that you felt that way about someone like me"

"Well now that you know its just that I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want things to change between us. I like our friendship it's the most important thing in the world"

"Nothing could ever change between us Kaoru-dono, as you just said I too treasure our friendship."

"Thank you Kenshin it is such a good thing to know that even though you know this we won't change."

"Of course not Kaoru-dono nothing will change between us, I promise"

"Okay Kenshin, so do you know what the time is"

"Umm… hold on, it… is 2:53 in the morning. Wow 2:53 I can't believe we were on the phone for that long. It seemed really short for that to be more than two hours."

" I can't believe it ether but we better go to bed or the both of us won't be able to get up tomorrow."

"Okay then I'll see you tomorrow"

"Bye then Kenshin, I'll see you tomorrow."

Later that morning

"Ugh… it is way too early for me to get up… 4:00. What? I'm not supposed to get up until six. Ya…hi…KO!" Kaoru jumped out of bed and began to run to her door when she suddenly got dizzy. "It is too early for this I'll get him latter," she said as she went to bed again.

"Hey Ugly, get up, your gonna be late for school." Yahiko yelled from downstairs.

"What time is it? Oh no I'm going to be late!" Kaoru jumped out of bed and was out of the house in record time. By the time she got to school she was actually early but Kenshin, who said he would meet her at 7:30, wasn't even there himself. Kaoru sat under the big tree that the Kenshin gumi loved to hang around under. Kaoru sat and took out her book. She decided to read to pass the time while she was waiting for Kenshin to get there. "Jeez what is taking him so loooong I can't stand it!"

"Kaoru-dono… are you alright?"

'Umm yeah it just that you took forever to get here and I was getting on the impatient side."

"Sorry about that, I had a hard time waking up this morning. That phone call kinda took a lot out of me and I wasn't even able to sleep right away."

"Yeah if Yahiko didn't wake me with his infamous ugly line I would have been late too." Brrrrrrrrrrrrrring! "The bell already? Oh well, I'll see you at the break kay, Kenshin? Bye." Kenshin and Kaoru walked away to homeroom. Kenshin in his math class and Kaoru in her math class. The morning announcements went by and were just a tinge on the annoying side. It seemed like a decade before Kaoru was out of math and on her way to science with Soujiro. Kenshin was on his was to history when he and Kaoru met in the hall. They did a quick wave and went on to their next class. "HeySoujiro! How was your weekend?"

"No complaints, it was pretty cool Kaoru, and you?"Soujiroasked

"It was the coolest and guess what? I rummaged enough courage to tell Kenshin how I feel."

"No way, Kao, are you serious? I never thought you would tell him that and I also thought you would wait for him to tell you first"

"Well he didn't tell me and I just got tired of waiting so I told him first."

"Well I hope you guys will be happy,"Soujiro said sincerely.

"Just because I told him that I really care about him, doesn't make anything official Soujiro."

"Sorry Kaoru, I just thought that since he knew how you felt he would tell you how he feels too"

"Wait, what? Kenshin doesn't feel that way about me we're just really good friends"

"Come on, don't tell me its not obvious how he feels for you. He even told me that he really cared about you and it tears him apart to see you hurt. "

"Really? He said that? No way, I guess that I always thought I took the littlest things way too seriously and he was just being nice. Oh my gosh Kenshin…"

oroLunchoro

"Hey Kenshin, how was your classes so far?" Pretty good and I finished all my homework in class, so when were done eating let's go to the music room."

"Okay then look there its Misao"

"Hey Kaoruuuuu, Himmmuraaaaa! Get over here!" Misao yelled

"Were coming Misao! " Kenshin and Kaoru answered in unison. They walked over to the tree and sat under the shade. As they were eating their lunch and enjoying the breeze The Kenshin gumi talked about the latest movies and what they planned to do next weekend. "Well we've gotta go. Kaoru-dono and I are gonna go to the music room."

The two got up and began to walk away.

"Were you going Weasel?" Sano asked as he grabbed Misao by the arm.

"Let go of me Rooster head I'm going with Kenshin and Kaoru."

"Give Kenshin and Jou-chan some time alone they need it."

"Oh alright fine… I'll just call her later," Misao said reluctantly. In the music room Kenshin was sitting at the piano and began to play a song. Kaoru instantly knew the song, Departure. When Kenshin finished that song he began to play another familiar song, Starless.

"That sounds so pretty Kenshin! You are getting really good at it."

"You think Kaoru-dono? Thanks a lot for saying so. By the way This Saturday I have a recital coming up and I thought it would be great if you could be there to listen to me."

"Sure Kenshin I would love to be there. What is the date of the concert?"

"It is on April 10th."

"Really? Okay then I will make a note of it."

kaoru That afternoon

Kaoru went shopping around with her mom and they ended up at a watch store.

"Do you need a new watch Kaoru?"

"I think I do, lets look inside" They walked around the store until she saw something that caught her eye. There was a watchcase that had two matching watches. It was a Geneva Watch that was silver with a black face. _That would look so good on Kenshin's wrist and I get one that matches it too! _"Excuse me miss, how much is this one?"

"Two hundred sixty dollars." She responded

"Not bad, thank you." Kaoru bought the watches and decided to give it to Kenshin later.

Romance The next morning

"Hey Kenshin… What's wrong you look a bit on the down side." Kaoru stated with concern

"Its nothing Kaoru-dono, don't worry about me, I'm okay." Kenshin replied as though his mind was in a different place.

"Come on lets go talk you look like you need it." Kaoru led Kenshin to a spot were they could talk to each other away from the eccentric Kenshin gumi. When they got there Kaoru asked, "What's wrong Kenshin are you okay?"

"It's just that I've been having a few problems at home and I am having a hard tine dealing with it" As he was explaining what has been going on Kaoru leaned on the wall. Kenshin noticed and asked, "Do you want to lean on my shoulder Kaoru-dono?"

"Umm yeah, but before I do I wanted to give you this. I saw it yesterday and I thought of you so I decided to get it."

"That was definitely thoughtful of you Thank you Kaoru-dono." With that Kenshin put the watch on. "Do you want to lean on my shoulder now?"

"Okay" Kaoru shyly replied. She put her head on his shoulder and breathed deeply to make herself relax. They continued to whisper about little problems that they had and as Kenshin described a really serious one he looked as if he was ready to cry. Kaoru hugged him and tried to comfort him. "Oh… Kenshin I'm here, and I want you to know that I will always be here…

A/N: See I told you it was long I hope you liked it and I will update as soon as I can. Please Keep the reviews coming they are really helpful.


	3. Without a Response

A/N: Hey everyone! I know that it's been long but here it is chapter three. I've

been really busy lately but I hope that you all like it. Read and review okay?

Thanx…

Disclaimer: I don't own rk so don't get mad

"Kenshin I'm here, and I want you to know that I'll always be here…."

The next morning Kaoru woke to the sound of the phone ringing in her ear. It

stopped but left her awake and listening to the sound of birds outside her

window. Kaoru stood up and walked to the window since she was already awake.

It was cloudy but calming. It reminded her of what happened yesterday making

her smile to herself. Kaoru thought about yesterday trying to relive the moment

over and again.

"I wish that moment would have lasted forever. It was so perfect Kenshin I was

so happy on your shoulder. I know that you know how I feel about you but I wish

you knew how much I care. Even I have trouble trying to explain it to… you…"

Kaoru whispered to her self. She realized that she was talking to her self and felt

bad that Kenshin wasn't there to hear her private conversation. She sighed to her

self because she was just alone. The phone began to ring again. "I wonder who

that is. Himura, Kenshin, Oh good. Hello?"

"Kaoru-dono is it too early to talk right now because if it is that okay I'll call later

an"

"Kenshin"

"Oro?"

"Its fine, don't worry about it I'm up kay."

"Are you sure your voice sounds different."

"It does?"

"Yeah, you sound tired."

"Oh… I'm not really I mean it."

"Okay. So anyways I just wanted to talk to you right now"

"About what Kenshin?"

"About today are you doing anything?"

"Umm… no I don't think so why?"

"Because I wanted to hangout with you Kaoru." Later Kenshin and Kaoru met up

and hung out at Kenshin's house. Kenshin played a few video games with Kaoru

until Kaoru got tired of losing and just watched him play instead. They were alone

in his house but of course they respected each other enough to not do anything.

Kaoru sat a little behind Kenshin on his bed and watched him struggle with a

certain puzzle in his game. She wanted to lean on his back but she knew that it

might bother him a little bit. Instead she just imagined it. Kenshin turned and

looked at her and noticed that she was in her own world. But he didn't want to

take her from it. She looked as if she was dreaming about something that she

wanted to happen. Kaoru finally felt Kenshin's eyes studying her and possibly her

thoughts.

"What's wrong Kenshin? What did I do?"

"Nothing Kaoru-dono"

"Oh…it's getting dark Kenshin turn on the light please." Kaoru said with a big

smile Kenshin stood up and walked over to the light switch and turned the lights

on. The room was suddenly filled with light and it made Kaoru's eyes hurt.

Kenshin apologized as if it were his fault. He went back to his game after asking

if she were sure that she didn't want to play or anything.

"Kenshin?"

"Yes Kaoru-dono?"

"I'm sorry but I'm kinda bored."

"Oh do you want to watch T.V?"

"Sure why not Kenshin." They walked across the hall to the guest room where

the T.V was bigger and there was more room on the bed to sit down. There

wasn't really anything on until they got to a channel that was showing Men In

Black. It just started and was on the part when Will smith was making fun of the

fat cop. They both laughed at the movie whenever it was funny. It got to the part

when Will Smith's Character was asked if he wanted to join even though he had

to sever all human contact. Kaoru thought for a moment about what she would

do if the offer were given to her. She knew that she would turn it down because

she would never want to leave Kenshin behind. She turned to Kenshin and

decided to ask him a question. "Kenshin if you were given that offer would you do

it?"

"Yeah, that would be so cool to do something like that to help people and sort of

protect them."

"Even if you had to sever all human contacts?"

"What exactly does that mean Kaoru-dono?"

"It means that if he joins that then he can't talk to all the people he knew before

ever again Kenshin… and you could do that? I know that I couldn't ever." Kaoru's

voice faded away as she looked him in the eye.

"Oh… your right I couldn't do that ether, I would only do it if you joined with me

Kaoru…"

"Did you just call me by my real name with out the miss in it?"

"Oh… I'm Sorry I didn't mean to Kaoru-dono"

"Kenshin, its alright that you call me that I like it. Besides didn't you say you had

something to tell me?"

"No I don't remember saying that."

"You were going to tell me who you liked or something remember?"

"Oh yeah that. I'd rather tell you in person."

"Why."

"Because it would change our friendship Kaoru"

"Oh okay." Soon Kaoru and Kenshin said there goodbyes and Kaoru went home

only to go straight to bed and think. "Did you really call me that Kenshin you

called me Kaoru not Kaoru-dono. If only you knew that was music to my ears

Kenshin. And you wouldn't do anything to sever contact with me that is the nicest

thing to know. And it makes me happy to know that…I hope you sleep well

tonight Kenshin. Good night Kenshin." Kaoru whispered as she wrapped her

arms around her pillow and fell asleep. The next morning Kaoru got herself to

school and waited to see Kenshin. "Hey Kenshin"

"Hi Kaoru."

"So who is it?"

"Umm I'll tell you later."

"Okay." Before she knew it was time to go to lunch. She met up with Kenshin and

they got lunch and ate together. Kenshin avoided the subject for the rest of the

day. When they were finished Sano walked over and started talking to them.

"Hey Kenshin hey Jou-chan what are you all doing?"

"Nothing really." Kenshin and Kaoru answered together.

"Oh okay. Hey Jou-chan I was wondering if you would ever go out with Kenshin."

Kaoru's heart stopped, " Why do you want to know?"

"I need to talk to you alone for awhile"

"Fine." Kaoru and Sano walked to a place where no one could hear them

"Kaoru I was talking to Kenshin the other day and I asked him how he felt about

you. I asked him if I liked you and he said yes."

"He said What?!" When school was over Kenshin and Kaoru walked out to the

place where they were picked up. They had been waiting under that tree for their

parents for the last two years. Kenshin was picked up first Kaoru went home and

ran up to her closet and tried to find something to wear to Kenshin's concert. She

went through outfit after outfit but couldn't find anything to wear. She ran to her

bedside and picked up her phone and dialed Kenshin's number in one second

flat.

"Hello?"

"Kenshin I can't find anything to wear for your concert tomorrow!"

"Heh-heh common Kaoru-dono it's not that big of a deal anything will be fine."

"But I can't find anything but this blouse thing."

"Kaoru-dono I'm sure you look perfectly fine in what you have right now."

"But you've never seen it."

"I'm positive that you'll look good in what you have Kaoru-dono so no worries"

"Okay I'll try to get over it and just wear whatever I have okay thanks I have to

go"

"Kaoru? I'll see you tomorrow okay"

"Okay, bye" Kaoru hung up the clothing that she tore out of her closet and threw

on the floor as she was looking for what to wear. "It looks like a hurricane hit my

room." Kaoru stated as she was folding clothes. When Kaoru finally got her room

clean she called Misao.

"What's up?"

"Misao!"

"Kao? What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong but guess what, I'm gonna go spend the entire day with

Kenshin tomorrow."

"Really? Heh-heh-heh you better get something to happen between you guys…

something good heh-heh."

"MISAO! SHUTUP don't say that it's so bad"

"I'm just messing with you Kao, but sorry I'm in the middle of something but after

you get home tomorrow you better spill the beans about EVERYTHING that

happened okay."

"Okay I will bye" Kaoru couldn't wait for tomorrow a day with Kenshin. She

walked over to her bedside and opened her drawer. She took out a little red

book, her diary, and began to write about Kenshin and every thing that happened

to her so far. Kaoru wasn't very good at keeping up with everyday so she had a

whole month to write about what happened to her so far. She wrote about

Kenshin and what has been happening between them so far. There was more to

write about her friends now than ever before. There was the paring up, fights,

and especially relationships. By the time she was done with that it was time to go

to bed. Kaoru put the little red notebook away and got into bed. It was a bit of a

while before she fell asleep but when she did she began to dream. _Kaoru got up _

_from bed and got ready to go out. She was at the movies by noon and was _

_waiting for someone. A car drove up to the front of the theater and dropped _

_someone off. He walked to her and they shared a hug. Kaoru couldn't see his _

_face because it was almost a blur. They walked hand in hand to buy tickets for _

_the movie they were about to watch. She was so happy, they were happy, them _

_together… _who was that? Who was she with?_ Kaoru stared at the blurred face _

_happily during the movie. She reached for his hand and held on tight. The figure _

_turned to her and smiled. The smile looked so familiar… like she had known it _

_forever. _Who is that?_ He leaned over to kiss her cheek then he whispered _

_something in her ear that made her blush. "I don't look that good …" she _

_whispered back. The movie was now over and it was time for the two to eat _

_dinner. "Where are we going to eat …" He turned to her and showed her into a _

_regular old burger joint. "How romantic…" Kaoru said jokingly. They sat and ate, _

_them together. Kaoru leaned her head on his shoulder. The warmth was _

_familiar… very familiar. Kaoru knew his sent, the sound of his voice, and this _

_warmth that rushed over her as she sat there with him. They were now in front of _

_Kaoru's house and it was time for her to step in. Just as she was about to enter _

_the empty house he grabbed her wrist. She turned to find his face inches from _

_hers. He began to close the distance. Kaoru could feel his breath on her face he _

_was about to kiss her… _Kaoru's eyes shot open as she sprung out of bed. "Why

do I always wakeup when it gets good?" Kaoru walked over to her bedside and

looked at her clock. It was time for her to get ready for the concert. She was done

pretty quickly and Mrs. Himura was there to get her in no time. Before she knew

it she was outside of Kenshin's house. They walked in and Kenshin was sitting

on the living room sofa talking to someone on the phone. Kaoru took off her

shoes and walked over to where he was sitting. "Hey Kenshin."

"Hey Kaoru-dono it's almost time to go so be ready okay."

"Okay"

"Do you want to come upstairs with me?"

"No is okay Kenshin I'll stay here."

"Common Kaoru-dono I have something to show you. Never mind I'll just bring it

down. Kenshin walked upstairs and was about to reach for a letter but then

decided not to. "I don't know if she's ready for this, I don't know if I'm ready for

this. Never mind Kao it will have to wait." Kenshin walked back down stairs empty

handed. "I'll show it to you later I couldn't find it Kaoru-dono."

"Oh okay then, besides it's time to go." They walked downstairs and out the door

to the car. Kenshin and Kaoru got in the back seat with Ayame While Mr. and

Mrs. Himura sat in the front. They drove for about half an hour until they got

there. Kenshin and Ayame ran to the door because the traffic made them late.

Everyone else was following behind. It was time for them to go in and sit down.

By the time they got in it was time for Kenshin and his friend to play their song to

end the concert before them. Kaoru had to wait a while until Kenshin was up to

play his song. After that everything went by in a blink and the concert was over.

While everyone was talking to Kenshin about how well he played today Kaoru

was introduced to some of Kenshin's family so even though the two were in the

same room they didn't really spend time together. Kaoru went out to dinner with

his family and was on the way home by six. Kaoru got out of the car and said by

to everyone and thanked the family for having her. Just as she turned around to

go inside Kenshin called to her and told her that the watch was broken. It

stopped after he dropped it in the locker room. Kaoru took the watch from him

and walked inside. She called him that night and they talked for a while. Kenshin

was hoping that Kaoru would be able to go to the store and tell them that it

stopped and ask if she could get it replaced. She was gonna try. The next week

was spring break and Kaoru wasn't very thrilled about it because she wouldn't

see Kenshin all the time for a while. Kaoru's mom told her not to call Kenshin and

let him call her instead. Her mom knew how she felt about Kenshin and she

didn't want her to appear desperate. So Kaoru didn't call until Thursday when

she got tired of waiting. Thursday night right after dinner, Kaoru ran up stairs and

ran to grab her phone. She dialed the number and waited for a voice from the

other side.

"Hello?"

"Kenshin!"

"Hey Kaoru-dono, It's been awhile you haven't called for the longest time"

"Then why didn't you call me instead?"

"Well I've been on the Internet with a few friends lately."

"Really?"

"I was something to do while I was waiting."

"Really…" Kaoru felt a little bummed out that Kenshin used that as a reason and

lost interest in the conversation. She heard her mom call and she opened her

door and answered. Kenshin was still on the phone talking to the preoccupied

Kaoru "Yeah!"

"Are you on the phone?"

"Yes."

"You didn't finish your chores yet and you're on the phone. You know the deal

finish the chores first then you can talk on the phone Kaoru. Who is it?"

"Its Kenshin…"

"I didn't hear the phone ring, who called?"

"I did…"

"Didn't I tell you to wait for him to call? Is he still there?"

"Hai."

"Get off the phone right now Kaoru. Then come down here okay."

"Kenshin, Kenshin hello?"

"Yes, what's wrong?"

"I have to go I'm in trouble right now okay bye."

"What? Why?"

"Because I have to okay bye"

"Kaoru are you off the phone yet? What's taking you so long?"

"I'm coming! Kenshin I have to go bye." Kaoru hung up the phone without waiting

for him to respond with a good bye. She put the phone on her nightstand and ran

downstairs. She was in trouble; Kaoru couldn't talk on the phone until further

notice. She went to bed missing Kenshin all the more. That night she dreamt

about him, about seeing him, but mostly just how much she wanted to be with

him. She woke to an empty house, just her and her longing to hear his voice. She

picked up the phone and tried to call and explain what happened. She dialed his

number even though if she were caught she would be in a deep pot of boiling

water. The line was busy. "He's on the internet darn it! That family needs call

waiting or something they only have one line. Oh well its only nine I'll keep trying"

Kaoru called every five minutes from nine to twelve until she knew her mom

would be home soon. It was 12:24 she had to try one more time. The line was

still busy. "Kenshin, I know you can't hear me but god be my witness I still tried. I

wanted to tell you that I got off the phone in such a rush. I didn't mean to I got in

trouble. I'm sorry, I just wanted to talk to you about how much I missed you over

this break and how next time a long vacation from school comes around we

better hang out or I won't be able to stand it. Kenshin?" It was still a busy signal

responding from the other side. "Kenshin? Don't be mad at me okay? Bye I'll se

you later…" There was no answer just the same sound signal in that the line was

in use and she needed to try and get a hold of the Himuras later. "Bye…" Kaoru

waited as the rest of spring break wined to a close. It was finally Sunday night

and Kaoru was restless. "Kenshin? I know you can't hear me right now but I

missed you and I can't wait to see you tomorrow morning. I can't sleep but I'll just

talk to you until I get tired. Okay?" Kaoru continued to talk to "Kenshin" until she

fell asleep. The next morning she woke to the sound of birds outside her window.

Kaoru couldn't wait to get to school and see him she got dressed and was ready

in less than twenty minutes. She didn't realize that it was only six. School started

in two hours and fifteen minutes. She was way ahead of schedule. Kaoru waited

for the time to pass. Her mom came down stairs.

"Kaoru what are you doing up so early?"

"Oh I don't know I just woke up early."

"Anyway I talked to your aunt and she said that if you really wanted to she would

invite Kenshin to her renewal of vows."

"Really?" She was finally ready to go to school. Kaoru was really early but she

was a little nervous. She didn't know why she had known Kenshin for two years

but she was still cursed with butterflies in her stomach. She turned around to see

a Kenshin completely dressed in black. He walked into the music room to put

something away. She walked in behind him and saw him talking to someone

else. "Hey Kenshin." Kenshin looked at her with very uneventful eyes and walked

past her. Kaoru was still so happy to see him she didn't realize that she was

being blown off. "Kenshin? Are you okay?"

"I just don't feel like talking to you right now Kaoru" Kenshin responded blankly

without even so much as looking at her as he said it.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru stood there in disbelief as she watched the person she had

been looking forward to seeing walk away from her. "Oh yeah, I wanted you to

know, your invited to my aunt and uncle's wedding Kenshin… Kenshin…

A/N: Sorry it took so long but I hope you liked it. I read my second chapter and that wasn't long that was _longer_. So now its long, I hope. The next chapter is gonna get a little ugly. I'll try to get it up soon okay.


	4. What did I do?

A/N: Hey guys, hope you like this chapter. Sorry It's been sooo long but writing

this story is like opening up an old wound. This story is based of something that

happened to me. The only difference is that I may have exadurated the way Kao

feels for Kenshin. Read and review kay! Thanx.

Disclaimer: RK doesn't belong to me

You are invited to my auntie and uncle's wedding… She watched as he walked

away. There was something different about him; his silence was something

unusual to Kaoru. The bell rang just as he got to his group of friends to talk to

them. They waved good-bye to each other and parted as they headed to their

classes. Kaoru walked alone filled with thoughts of uncertainty to her homeroom

class. Being alone for this walk was a bit unusual to her, she was used to being

with Kenshin all the time. The day passed very slowly until it was finally time to

go home. She walked up to her usual spot to wait for her ride. There was a nice

breeze blowing, making the leaves in the tree above her rustle. Time wore on

until she realized that Kenshin wasn't there yet.

"He is acting so wired I wonder what the heck is wrong with him?" A car drove

up sadly not her mom but it was Kenshin's dad. He smiled at her and she began

to wave until some one walked by slowly, right in front, and interrupted her. It was

Kenshin. "Bye Kenshin."

"Feh." He walked on without looking in her direction or uttering another word. He

got in the car and this time Kaoru got to wave to his dad as the car began to

move away. Kaoru was left to yet again wonder what she did wrong.

"Jeez what's up his but?" Kaoru saw her mom coming down the road and put the

thought in the back of her mind and tried to forget about the new issue. The ride

home was pretty uneventful. Kaoru got to her room and closed the door behind

her and sat to think about what's had happened.

A few months had passed and before she knew it, it was June with 18 days left to

go. Kaoru had gotten used to being away from Kenshin but still had a hope he

would come back and tell her what was going on. He never did but she still

waited. Kaoru woke up and grabbed her diary.

June 3 2003,

Its been two months since Kenshin stopped talking to me aside from his evil

comments about me being ugly and a waste of his time. Since then he has

continued to flirt with every girl conveniently in my sight. He knows how I felt

about him and exactly what I don't like. He used them all to get to me but what hit

me the hardest was how he was messing around with Tomoe right in front of my

face. A few days after our "fight" broke out he began to cling to her at every

moment. They would walk out to lunch his arm around her and leave her right

under our tree less than five feet away. He would by his lunch andwalk up to her

from behind and put his arms aound her _again. _ The Ironic part is that she

doesn't like him Tomoe walks up to me and begs me to save her. The thing is I

can't do any thing. So what am I left with now?

A/N: I realize that this is really short but its late and I didn't want people to kill me for not updating sorry


	5. Kenshingumi No Longer

A/N: Sorry it took so long but I didn't have the time to write the next part. I also wanted this to be a bit on the longer side. So here it is read and tell me what you think with a lovely review.

Disclaimer: I don't own RK so don't kill me

Dear diary or any one that's listening,

I'm so miserable I can't find a way to completely shut Kenshin out of my mind. Almost

every one that I know keep asking about the "fight" and if they don't know about the

"fight" then they ask if Kenshin and I are going out ha, yeah, right. I guess Kenshin's

rumors haven't reached them yet. I wonder what the Hello Kitty I could have done to get

that idiot so spiteful. Oh yeah, and that Hello Kitty thing that I said its something that

I started to say when the whole "fight" supposedly started. I don't think words can

express how I feel I can't believe it, I didn't do any thing, that's the best part I didn't

anything and that Baka wont even look at me let alone tell me what I did. I feel so messed

up not like I can't stand him talking to me but he won't tell me what I did wrong and the

rumors are just beyond wonderful, NOT! I heard that he walked in to the boy's

locker room right before P.E and yelled Kaoru is a bleeeeeeep. I refuse to cuss even for

that low life good for nothing Baka. Now every one in my fifth period P.E class wants to

know what I did to _him. _I just can't believe that he said that. He also has a few

accomplices in his "quest" to break me. There is this girl, her name is Mei, and she acts

like she is my friend and I thought I could confide in her but no, I tell her that Kenshin

stopped talking to me for some odd reason and she goes and tells him that I was crying

over him. Trust me the day I cry over him I will tell you diary or whoever is listening, I

will tell you. I refuse to cry over that monster anyway, why would I want to cry over

someone that doesn't care about me. I guess I can't blame him for all the pain that I'm

going though. It's my fault too I guess we I should just let go of it but for some reason

it's too hard for me. Don't even make fun of me. I do realize that I should just let go. You

know what. I will write everything that happened to me so far and then I'll burn it or I'll

drown it in the river and it will be gone forever along with all my feelings for him. So

where to start………………………………………………………………………………..

I went to school just like I do every day but today Tomoe said she had something

important to talk to me about. Kinda weird because we don't really talk. Before school

started she met with me under the tree.

"Kaoru please help me I just can't stand it. He won't stop holing on to me like were

going out of something. Sorry but its bugging me so much."

"Gomen, I can't do any thing ether he apparently is fighting with me and he won't talk to

me, nothing. I think he is using you to get to me I think he thinks that I get jealous when I

see him all over you. Again I'm so sorry he is using you like this but I really can't do any

thing."

"That's alight Kaoru I understand what you're trying to say but is it possible that he is hurt

that the both of you aren't going out?"

"Tomoe, he never told me that he wanted me in anyway. He was always fine with

knowing how I felt for him, he never said that it bothered him that I felt that way ether."

"I think he cares about you but nothing happened and so it hurts him. I blame him though

he could have easily told you how he felt and this wouldn't be the problem."

"How can you say that he cares for me when he doesn't want to even look at me, I just

can't see how you would think that."

"Think about it Kaoru he keeps using all these different girls to get to you. Maybe he is

trying to hurt in the same area that he is hurt in."

"I don't know, but it would make sense he didn't talk to me for like two months then out of nowhere he tells me that he asked this quote unquote hot girl out and she said maybe."

"Who was it?"

"Yoko…"

"Ha, Yoko is he serious? I don't think that she would say yes anyway."

"Yeah, Tomoe that's why the key word there is that she said _maybe,_"

"Kaoru, how funny, anyway hang in there I'm sure there will be many more like Yoko,

Mei, and me. Don't let it get to you he isn't worth it okay."

"I'm fine with him trying to get to me over, and over, and over again, but what about you

he is still gonna be all over you and I can't help in any way."

"Kaoru, it will be fine I have an idea. And for this to work I can't tell you what's going to

happen. Is that okay?"

"Fine, but what ever it is am I going to be included in this Tomoe? If I am it might just

make matters worst for me."

"Everything will be fine I promise, its better that you don't know what I'm going to do

because if you did then it would be like you are involved. Worst He will also think you

put me up to it so don't worry a bit about it."

"Okay, I trust you but be careful things are already bad for me as they are please, please,

please don't make this worst."

"I won't Kaoru I promise, but one thing why didn't you and I become friends sooner."

"I don't know Tomoe maybe because I used to be covered with Kenshin germs and I

would have gotten you sick with baka."

"Kaoru, then you must have a resistance to his illness of baka."

"Ether that or I'm infected too. I mean I did like him so much that I was close to loving

the kid."

"That's so mean it's just I can't help but think its funny."

"That's okay I know I'm too young to understand love so I try not to worry my little baka

head about it."

"You know Kaoru your a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"Arigato." We ended our conversation there and I promised to me meet her at lunch when

she would have already put the plan in action. The day passed pretty normally until I got

to orchestra. Yeah I play violin I'm a big dork. But Kenshin has to be worst because he

plays violin and piano. I walked in and found out that we were going to watch the Pirates

Of The Caribbean movie because we were playing songs from it. I was about to sit

alone or with Sano and Enishi. (A/N: In this story Enishi isn't related to Tomoe and Sano Enishi, Kaoru and Kenshin play violin because this story is completely based on something that happened to me. Every character in the story is one of my friends named after the Kenshin-gumi. And if you're wondering just for this story Kaoru is me.)

I was about to sit down when I heard Sakura and Hana call my name.

"Kaoru come sit with us."

"Oh I was going to sit with Sano and Enishi."

"Jou-chan don't worry about it go ahead and sit with them."

"Are you sure Sano?"

"Common Kaoru you're around guys too much this will give you the opportunity to make

more girl friends. Besides if Kenshin does sit next to that would give us a chance to talk

to him about a few things alone."

"Okay then bye Enishi, bye Sano."

" Hey Kaoru you've decided to sit next to us."

"Yeah Sakura, I'm around guys way too much and I think I need a little break. So Hana

you've seen this movie before right?"

"Uh-huh I've seen it a lot of times, I have the DVD."

"Oh I do too but the break form the violin is very welcomed."

"That's true but I don't have the DVD, I go to Hana's house to see it."

"Oh." I sat there with Hana and Sakura and we talked about things more than watch the

movie and before I knew it the bell rang. I lasted one whole class period in the same

room as Kenshin but didn't talk about him at all. That to me was sooo great I was just

too tired of it I couldn't stand talking about him any more. I was about to walk out the

door when I was suddenly pushed aside so that a certain rude person could pass though. I

couldn't believe it I leave the kid alone and he still messes with me. I turned to confront

him but all I got was a "humph" and he was gone. Hana and Sakura saw what happened and rushed to my side.

"Oh my god what was that for?"

"I don't know Sakura, remember he's mad at me for something." This didn't satisfy Hana

so she voiced in.

"Mad at you or not that doesn't give him the right to just shove you out of the way like

that." We walked out and I met up with Tomoe and told her what had happened.

"He did what? How dare he I should have been really mean to him in the letter."

"What letter?"

"I wanted to meet you at lunch to discuss the letter I wrote to him."

"Was that your plan that you didn't tell me about?"

"Yes it was I wrote him a note and I had Sakura slip it in his backpack. I kept a copy of it

so that you would be able to read it. Here." She handed me the paper and I began to read

out loud.

__

Kenshin,

I wanted to write you this letter because I want you to know that I view you as my friend

and nothing more. I'm sorry if you can't except that but please I'm just not comfortable

when you hold on to me. I don't feel that way for you and I hope you can understand that.

If you feel that there isn't a girl around that doesn't feel for you then I'm very sorry. That

person is out there and you know her too. I think she is meant to be with you not me.

Please understand,

Tomoe

"You gave him this exact letter?"

"Yes."

"Oh Hello Kitty."

"What Kaoru?"

"This is bad, he is probably mad it me now."

"Kaoru he was already mad at you."

"Oh right. Why did you tell him that?"

"I'm sorry if you didn't want me to say that but I wanted him to realize that what he was

doing to you was wrong and that inside he really does want to be with you."

"I'm still in shock because you told him that."

"Do you still care about him?"

"Tomoe, I really don't know? There are times when I know with out a doubt that I do and

times when I hate him so much. There are times when I can't stop thinking about him and

days when I would rather die than talking to him. I'm sure everyone has days when they

can't stand some one but they just really couldn't be without that person."

"Really, I'm not trying to be mean or anything but I think that's so moving."

"Are you messing with me Tomoe?"

"Honestly Kaoru I'm not so don't get mad or anything just think about it. Kenshin will

realize one day what he did to you was wrong. I feel that he will wake up one day

covered in cold sweat after he realizes that you are now gone from his reach and that it is

almost impossible to get you back. He's going to have sleepless nights and constant

nightmares the day you move on. The day that you finally find the person to complete

you he will be haunted with the realization that he was the one that pushed you away.

You will have a family and be very happy except for the few times that you remember

that you used to love him."

"Don't you think that's a bit much? I never said that I loved him."

"But I can tell that you do. It's in the way you look at him."

"What!"

"Have you ever seen the way you look at him."

"You mean in disgust?"

"That's funny but no its like you have a way of telling him how you feel just by looking

at him."

"Okay Tomoe now I know you are getting a bit on the delusional side. Did you eat some

bad sashimi or something?"

"No I'm pretty sure I didn't. I just sincerely think that the both of you will end up

together. And if not together then he will be lonely with out you."

"I just can't find the part of me that agrees with you. He is always allover other girls.

That hentai will never want to be with me."

"But a day will come when Kenshin will get tired of lying to himself and his feelings and

he will look for you again."

"Tomoe, I think that's a bit too powerful for me to understand." The conversation ended

there. I couldn't believe she thought that Kenshin was secretly longing to be with me. I

find that to be a joke. Isn't it though diary or my unknown audience? Is it really too hard

to believe though that Kenshin is doing this just because is hurt by the fact that he is too

much of a koshinuke to admit his feelings for me? I find that way to untrue, I'm not

capable of affecting any one like that. At least I think I'm not. After that conversation

with Tomoe I just couldn't stop thinking about what she said. I tried to shut it out of my

mind all day but no use I just couldn't do it. I was also couldn't stop thinking about how

the "evil one" pushed me. Just kidding, anyway that actually hurt. I guess he just won't

be happy if he hurts me emotionally he needs to hurt me physically too. Sometimes I

want to hurt him but I just really can't. It would probably make things worst. The next

day I told my best bodyguard Misao, Kenshin pushed me yesterday and she totally

freaked out. The best part was that at that exact moment he walked by and she started

yelling at him.

"Hey Himura, you ugly freak you get your sorry butt over here." Kenshin didn't respond

he just stood there and looked at Misao and me in a very bad way.

"Misao leave him alone its okay don't mess with him that's fine."

"Hey Weasel what's up with you I thought this fight was between Jou-chan and

Kenshin."

"It was until he had the nerve to push her."

That's when Enishi walked in to the conversation "What did you do now to get the girl

yelling Himura." Then Misao and Sanosuke decided to tell Enishi the whole story about

how Kenshin pushed me, why _they_ think he pushed me, and how there gonna make him

pay.

"What's up guys?" The rest of the Kenshin-gumi chimed in.

"I swear you all have the worst timing ever. Misao, Enishi, and Sanosuke were just

talking about how they were gonna kill Kenshin. Now they're gonna have to tell you

guys the story all over again. Honestly I think I'll live knowing that Kenshin is the most

spiteful person I've ever met. Trust me I should have never told Misao about how

Kenshin pushed me."

"Hey Jou-chan its okay, we're just trying to stick up for you so just relax." Apparently

Sano was trying to calm me down, but it wasn't exactly working. I looked at Kenshin and

I knew I was mad at him but I couldn't help but miss the old Kenshin the one I privately

thought of as "My Kenshin", the old Kenshin that would call me at least twice a day, and

would be happy to hear me pick up. I remember every time I heard my phone ring I

would get exited because I knew it was him. I miss that Kenshin. One day someone asked

him why he wasn't talking to me.

He just replied, "I'm a new Kenshin, I don't need her anymore." That line will be burned

in my memory forever. I just can't shake it and every time I try to look him in the eyes

I'm greeted with a glare and all I can remember is that same exact line "I'm a new

Kenshin." I just can't stand it, I miss the way things were before and I have a strong

feeling that I won't ever be that way again…

A/N: Well that's the end of it that was my whole thing of pain and whatever, That line _is_ still burned in my memory. Another thing that will be burned in my memory is that look on your face when you thought my story ended. But it's not over yet.

When I finally got back to reality I realized that the Kenshin-gumi were all in there

signature fighting stances.

"What the Hello Kitty are you all doing? You all look like you're about to kill him or

something! Leave Kenshin alone!"

(Misao) "I can't believe you would still want to protect him after all that he has done to

you."

(Enishi) "Hey Kenshin you see that after all that you've done to her she still stands up for

you. I just want to know how the freak you sleep with yourself? Don't you feel bad at

all?"

(Kenshin) "Actually about that part when you asked how I sleep with my self very well

actually. And the part about if I feel bad about what I'm doing, hmmm…. actually not

so much"

(Sano) "You are sooo dead for saying that."

"The whole Kenshin-gumi has gone completely homicidal."

Suddenly they whole group said at the same time, "Don't call us the Kenshin-gumi

anymore from now on we will not be known as the Kenshin-gumi!"

Then Enishi voiced out; "We should call the tree that we hang out under the "H.H" a.k.a.

Homie Hangout."

"Buuahahahah! That's the stupidest thing I ever heard!" Misao said through her

uncontrollable laughter. Then Sanosuke said with a completely straight face, "We can

call it the Batmobile." I just smacked my face in shame of his stupidity. I swear I saw

Kenshin try to hold back his laughter and keep a straight face. I'm surprised that he is still

here just waiting for his impending doom. Maybe he missed being with all of us at the

same time. But of course Misao wouldn't let a remark like that slide without voicing out

her very straightforward opinion.

"You big Baka that's the name of the Batman's car not his secret cave or whatever you

call it." Enishi who was still in his own little world then thought of yet another stupid

name for the place we hang out at.

"We could call it the "Sista Hood".

"What are you talking about? That's just about as ingenuous as the "Batmobile."

"Hey Jou-chan are you trying to make fun of me, cuz I just want to know?"

"Maybe I am Sano." Thank goodness Misao stopped that weird conversation about what

to call the place we hang out at.

"Hey wait weren't we out to kill Himura today?"

"Oh yeah, hey Misao, Sano, and the rest of you get ready to take that lunk head down."

They yet again assembled and donned their fight stances and were ready to go take

Kenshin down.

"Again leave him alone I'm fine knowing that he doesn't like me and I don't care if he

never speaks to me again."

"That doesn't matter he needs to get slapped in to realization. He needs to get beaten into

submission."

A/N: So I finally finished it! Hope you guys like it, please read and review. Thanx!


	6. san fransisco

(I moved chapter six so I can get reviews from people that responded to my trip)

I'm sooooooooooo sorry for not updating in like fifty zillion years. This Thursday through Sunday I'll be in San Francisco with orchestra during that time I'll write the next chapter. Sorry again!


	7. Inside my self

(I put this on chapter seven because I wanted to get Reignashii and Sou-chans' gurl 4-ever's review for this chapter)

A/n: Yay I'm finally back with a new chapter so hope you all like it. I hope you guys still want to read because it wouldn't surprise me that you all don't want to read any more because it took me a million years to update the story. Sorry.

Disclaimer: Everyone knows what I'm going to put here

He needs to be beaten into submission….

Dear Diary,

The year is now coming to a close and we are all excited about the upcoming dance for everyone that is leaving junior high, the trip to an amusement park, and our promotion ceremony. Everyone except me that is. I'm going to miss this school, every tiny memory good or bad. I wish I could relive this year… the moments that I had spent with him were so important to me I just couldn't let go. But I have to, no, I need to I'm worth way more than I treat myself. But even though I know this I still prefer to tell myself like I'm not worthy enough for that evil nutcase. I can't stand looking at him and that blank expression on his face. Tomorrow night is the dance. Might as well go and try to enjoy myself….

Kaoru put the little red book in the drawer of her nightstand and turned the light off. She didn't have any clue why this was hurting her so badly. "They were right I am walking barefoot on eggshells just to keep myself from hurting someone that could care less." She whispered to herself and then she trailed of to a night of rest of a small drama that was her life. The next morning she got ready and went to school an hour before it actually started. That always left her with thirty minutes of time alone before everyone she knew got there. Everyday for five months she waited in the cold for her real friends to come, not just the people that would take effort to keep up a conversation. During those thirty minutes everyday she thought about how Kenshin was treating her, what she did to deserve that, and how it would end. She began to talk to herself…

"What did I do to deserve this? If I did anything it must be very bad because hurting this much over someone is not human."

"Come on Kaoru you know that you care about him very much and that's why you are hurting so much." The wrestle between her and her mind was about to begin.

"No never I don't care about him anymore he could rot his stuck-up butt in hell."

"Look you are different now, you've become more hollow and you only act happy. You can only give that kind of power to someone you LOVE."

"What the Hello kitty are you talking about? I don't love him. I don't, never, not me I don't love him!"

"Do you know why it hurts so much to see him all over other girls? Because they're not you, they're not you Kaoru. And it kills you that no matter how much you love him your never going to have him."

"…Shut up… Shut… up"

"I told you it hurts you to much for you not to _love _him." Kaoru stared at her reflection in the puddle at her feet.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because I want you to stop lying to your self about how much you hate him Kaoru."

"But I do hate him…"

"He has finally cracked through you sanity. It isn't healthy to look in the mirror and ask yourself how much you are worth. Wondering if you were too fat, too ugly, or too stupid for him."

"Your wrong…"

"I bet this is exactly what he wanted to do to you. You claim religiously that you hate him. But you don't… you hate yourself and how "unworthy" you are for him." Kaoru was now near tears. Everything that people were telling her the past three months was coming back to her now. She understood why this hurt her so much. Kenshin hurt her enough to make her claim to hate him but the real effect was that she hated everything about herself. The way her entire being was completely drained of every last trace of self-confidence by one person scared her.

(Kaoru) "Your right I do care… I hate myself so much now. I can't look in the mirror anymore because I've let myself lose everything…"

(Mind) "I told you can't go on thinking you don't care for him because you do, you really do."

(Kaoru)"…"

(Mind) just because you care it doesn't mean that you've lost the ability to stop being yourself."

(Kaoru)"but I can't do that."

(Mind) "You can Kaoru you really can."

Dance…

Kaoru got herself ready and was soon on the way to the dance. She got there pretty early and found herself waiting to get the class picture taken alone. She hated the feeling of being alone just hated it. They finally were ready to take the picture and Kaoru found herself sitting next to Tomoe.

"Hey Kaoru how are things?"

"Oh, Tomoe, they are fine."

"That's nice to know."

"So anyone to dance with tonight? I bet Kenshin will ask you for sure."

"Oh please no, I don't exactly want to dance with him tonight."

"Why do you say that?"

"He just doesn't realize that we are just friends and I don't feel that way about him."

"Oh… Gomen."

"No Kaoru don't apologize. Why don't you dance with him."

"Because he would rather get breast cancer as a man."

"Kaoru don't compare yourself to cancer. But if that is the case would you mind doing me a favor?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Would you like to stay with me tonight and keep him away."

"What are you talking about Tomoe"

"Well Kao since he will stay away from you then maybe if you are with me he won't ask me to dance."

"Sure why not I don't have anyone to dance with anyway." Tomoe and Kaoru walked over to get in line for the picture. After being put in a spot to sit Kaoru and Tomoe smiled big then headed over to the dance. The night started with Tomoe trying to stay away from Kenshin at all cost. Then when he was dancing with friends Tomoe and Kaoru went off to a place they couldn't see him. The first slow song came on and Kaoru could hear it from outside the gym. She felt a slight pain in her heart as the song progressed. She didn't realize how badly she wanted to dance with her most "beloved" enemy. The pain gas getting stronger as Kaoru imagined what it would be like to dance with her one and only.

"Kaoru? Are you okay? You look a bit…distant."

"Huh?"

"I was just saying that you looked a little distant."

"Oh… just thinking."

"About him huh?"

"Just what it would be like to dance with him and just let the song control the moment, our moment. Then I realized that he is probably in there right now with some girl dancing away and not even giving me a spare thought. That hurt me, just the thought hurts me."

"It's alright he can't be _that _happy looking for any girl to dance with him when the best person for him is sitting right here in pain."

"I doubt he is hurting the way I am right now."

"Kaoru…"

"… I guess I have to learn to be stronger." The private conversation was interrupted when Suki came to tell them that she just had a wonderful conversation with Kenshin.

"Hey Tomoe, Kao, guess what. I was talking to Kenshin and he wanted to dance with me. I did for a little then I asked him if he wanted to dance With Kaoru and he replied, "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh no. I would never dance with her that is just wrong. Besides I hate her guts. She is a (female dog, except he really said it)." Then I asked him, "Don't you care that you're hurting her?" He responded, "f---- Kaoru and what she thinks or feels."

"Did you come here just to tell Kaoru something that she could have smelled from a mile away?"

"No I just wanted to tell her that I tried to ask and he said no."

"I didn't tell you to ask him if he would dance with me let alone come back and tell me _that. _Did you not think that would hurt me?"

"I'm sorry Kaoru."

"Okay." At this point I wanted to jump of a cliff, get my body hit by a car, and after that thrown into a river.

Kaoru went home to an empty house and locked herself up in her room. She walked over to her nightstand and picked up her yearbook and turned to a page that was printed with the words "reserved for my crush, someone special, oldest friend, and so on. Her eyes were glued to the empty boxes reserved for someone special and my crush. The tear that she kept bottled up for the past three months suddenly made its way out in steady flows. "Get a hold of yourself. I said I wouldn't cry over someone that doesn't care about me and here it is.

I hate her guts… she is a b----… f--- her what she thinks or feels

"How could he?" Kaoru took one last glance at the book before she threw it to the ground and screamed, "I hate you too Kenshin!" she collapsed to the floor and erupted in tears.

A/n: Kinda dramatic but hope you guys like it. R&R… And I don't mean rest and relaxation.


	8. Leaving the comfort zone

A/N: I am so sorry for taking long. I'm pretty sure a few of you out there want to kill me right about now. And you know what it doesn't surprise me. Thanx for reading so far; I never really thought that this story would be any good and I would end up with like 5 reviews from people that I had to ask to read it.

Disclaimer: I don't own RK

Kaoru's eyes, still puffy from crying, fluttered open as soon as sunlight came spilling into her room. The dance was last night and today was the last day at school. With it came practice for the promotion ceremony, A farewell video to the leaving class, and one last good bye to the teachers that made that year possible. Kaoru got out of bed and went over to her closet. She looked ver her clothes and just grabbed her familiar pair of jeans and a loose T-shirt. After brushing her teeth and putting on her clothes Kaoru looked at her reflection in the mirror. A sad and tired person looked back at her begging to just stay home and just shut out all the memories of Kenshin. She wished her eyes weren't so puffy but she knew they would go down soon. She grabbed a purse, her yearbook, and cell phone from the charger and went downstairs. During her ride to school Kaoru couldn't believe that it was all over, school that is, the thing between her and Kenshin would probably last forever. She counted the light posts while thinking of him. She still did and it hurt her to remember the way he used to look and smile at her. Kaoru missed it so much but fought the tears because she didn't want her mom to know that something was bothering her. When she finally got to school and was out of anyone's sight she let the tears flow freely. Gently at first but soon they became steady and fast. It hurt a part of her deep inside because she didn't want her friends or anyone to think she was pathetic. She was confident they would, after all she felt pathetic too. People began to arrive so she dried her tears and tried to stop crying. The gumi was there and every one started talking about the usual things. She sat with them but was silent and deep in thought. It surprised her that they didn't notice something was bothering her. The bell rang and it was time to go to class. After taking her seat and watching the same old announcements her homeroom class went to an assembly. It was just about the same old things that she didn't care about. They repeated what would happen on the last day and how to dress and be ready for the ceremony tomorrow. After the rehearsal everyone said their last good-byes and a few promises to see each other during the summer.

"I can't believe its over." Kao whispered to herself. She walked to the familiar place where she would wait for her mom. Kaoru looked up and saw that the sky was surprisingly gloomy for June 17th. The wind blew the leaves in a way that made her take a deep breath and appreciate this afternoon. A cloudy sky and a bit of cold weather always made her smile. This of course made her seem crazy to everyone else that lived in southern California. She was admiring the trees that lined the road and turned to the right. There she saw Kenshin walking away, in the direction of his car. She stood there looking at him almost like waiting for him to turn around… he didn't. Of course, she thought why would he is way to good for me. Then without thinking she whispered, "Bye Kenshin."

"Kaoru? Is that you? Why do you look so sad?" a voice called from behind her.

"Oh, hi soujiro. No reason, I guess I'm just gonna miss this school." Kaoru didn't like the thought of lying to him about the reason why she was sad. It was half-true though, she would miss this school and the sheltered comfort zone it really was.

"Well what ever it is just promise me that it has nothing to do with Kenshin and the jerk he's been lately." Kaoru smiled at how well he knew her.

"I promise that from now on I will never let him affect me to the extent that he has this last month again."

"I'm glad to hear that because that jerk-face isn't worth it." Was Soujiro's reply. A car pulled up and Kaoru realized that their conversation was about to end. "Well see you tomorrow at the big ceremony. Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I will. Hope I find you in the huge crowd." Kaoru said as she waved goodbye. She watched the car drive away until it was impossible to see it anymore. Kaoru turned around and looked at the school that stood behind her. So many things happened in the past three months. She wouldn't see this school again, well not until Yahiko would go here in two years. Kaoru relived the few moments that touched her the most. One of course was the moment she was in Kenshin's arms. It was probably just a few minutes but they seemed to last forever. The others were just things with friends. The way Sano wanted to call the big tree "The Batmobile". She still thought that was a very priceless moment. The sound of a car pulling up behind her brought her back to what was happening now. "Finally, I was wondering if you were gonna make me sleep out here." Kaoru said as she got into the car. Her mom went through the long list or things that she had to do before getting her. "Okay, okay fine whatever I believe you." They went out for lunch and then bought the clothes she was gonna wear to the promotion tomorrow. She bought a black dressy long sleeve top and a black skirt with white flowers. The drive home was pretty uneventful. Kaoru and her mom made small talk on the way home and when she finally got to her room Kaoru lay her clothes on her bed. "This is it tomorrow will be the last time I will see you for three months.

A/N: I am soooo sorry this is so short. I was working on it last night and when I opened the file today all the work was gone. IT DIDN"T SAVE! And I freaked out. So I'll get it down but till then here it is.


	9. A little red book

A/n: Hey people this is the part that got lost when my computer went dumb and didn't save. I was looking through my diary and saw all the things that bothered me. I can't believe that he hurt my feelings so badly. So here you guys go, read and review.

Disclaimer: I don't own RK.

This is it they are gonna start calling our names out. They just finished giving speeches and we were told to stand up and get ready to walk up and get our certificates. "Thank god! I'm baking in the sun I never should have worn black."

"Yeah I know Kaoru, how could it be so hot today when it was so cloudy yesterday?"

"Hurry and call names I need to get out of the sun!"

The teachers started calling out their student's names. And then I heard it, "Kenshin, Himura" He walked up and got his certificate. I guess Misao saw my face.

"Awww Kao, don't worry bout the loser. He barely deserves the thing."

"What did you say?"

"I said he barely deserves the thing."

"ha, ha I thought you said he barely has a thing. You know a winkiedink."

"Oh my god Kaoru what are you thinking? Probably doesn't."

"Hey I just misheard you, you're the one that made it worst. Besides if Soujiro hears us he will kill us for talking about something like that." Soujiro was right behind her.

"Something like what?" the voice behind her said.

Misao took the opportunity to brief him, "She was talking about Kenshin's thingy." Kaoru sent her death glares the moment Misao finished her sentence.

Soujiro hit the back of Kaoru's head with the program. "Don't do it again." Then he walked away.

Kaoru was relived when she got home and the ceremony was over. She felt like reading her diary. They were filled with a few things about her love for Kenshin. Reading it made her stomach sick and she couldn't understand why she felt that way. Some things were crossed out in an attempt to forget them. The pages said:

June 8, 2004

I don't know who to write to anymore. I feel so lost without him. Though it has been 2 months it feels like just yesterday I could see him look at me in the way that makes me smile deep down inside. Everything reminds me about him. Songs the way my surrounding looks, just anything. I realized I'm just back where I started, love sick for someone who doesn't care. Can't I just let go? My aunt was right I am walking on eggshells for him. Why can't he see it? I will just say it I think I…love him. No wonder he thinks I'm stupid. I hate my self for doing this. Torturing myself is stupid. His sister even thinks I'm stupid for liking him. So lonely It makes me want to just cry. He was my everything but I'm ugly and annoying. It doesn't help that people have labeled me as Kenshin's girlfriend. I talk to some people and they say, "Hi Kenshin's girlfriend" I do have a name. I'm so lost. I'm saying sometimes I want to hop on a plane leave, just go on with my life. And yet I can't let go of him. I have such a hard time doing so. I keep remembering all of our close moments. This is just killing me. I've lost my appetite. I know starving myself won't make it better but if food is supposed to keep me alive then I just don't see a point. This is so stupid. I remember the time I warned him that someone was gonna try to get in between us and use him to make my life horrible. I told him the exact quote. He just looked at me in his sweet way and told me not to worry. I guess he could see that I was scared out of my mind. He said I would never believe her over me. Then he hugged me. As he walked a way he looked over his shoulder and smiled sweetly. I know that if I reminded him he would deny it. I miss him so much.

A/N: There you have it straight off my diary to computers all over the world. Leave a review.


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